That’s not how we raise them in these parts. Stop giving us a bad name.

I was really quite shocked to see a post by an author whose books I quite enjoy about how she is being treated in the blogosphere, merely for voicing her opinion. Disagreeing with a person is one thing, but to go on and call her names like bitch and c**t is unacceptable, in my eyes. As a human being (whether she’s a published author or not) would you say things like this to her face? I seriously doubt it. And I don’t really get this whole “well, she’s not nice to me online, so I’m not gonna buy her books.” crap. When I read, I look for an enjoyable, well-written story. I have a few tried and true favourites I read no matter what, and quite frankly, it’s never occurred to me to judge how they behave online to determine whether I’m going to like their book or not. I think the only exception to that would be an author who was posting actual hate messages based on race or religion or was actively scamming readers. But past that? Ppffft. I got better things in life to worry about.

And, yeah, I’ve been in the middle of a few issues myself, where I finally just walked away from the computer to keep from being a little brat and sinking to this level… like my whole lawsuit issue from a month ago. Yes, I could have pointed you all to this author’s website where she has spelling mistakes on the page she’s trying to market herself as an editor, or told you that her book was one of the worst I’ve ever read, and I was only promoting it because of my involvement in it (true or not), but what good would have come of it? It’s my own conscience I have to live with at the end of the day.

So, it upsets me when people get bent out of shape when I honestly try and help. There’s a forum I frequent daily. On it, an author promotes herself as a grammar professor. Only, she’s giving out incorrect information. And THAT pisses me off. But everytime I try and correct her, not saying, hey, you’re wrong, but actually giving citations from style guides and dictionaries, she gets all bent out of shape basically saying that I don’t know what I’m talking about and she doesn’t care. Well. Ok. Fine, don’t care, but if your whole justification is because “SpellChecker” doesn’t catch it? Uh. yeah, there’s a reliable source. I mean, I blame the entire advertising industry for the rampant misuse of the apostrophe, and I’ve seen countless books that misuse of that/which/who, so to say that one copy editor in one publishing house must be right? Yeah, I’d still rather go to the style guides. (which, actually, was my advice.) And, sure I could have been snarky, but what purpose would it serve? I posted the rule. Let other people make the decision for themselves. I don’t see the point in weakening my comments with nasty talk.

Please don’t get me wrong, I can be a bitch with the best of them. Hell, I grew up with three sisters. But I try and keep my behaviour online the same as if I were saying these things in person. Because, when you say them, you may not see anything but a computer screen, but there’s still a human being on the other end of that computer screen.

1. I don’t like people to know I’m writing. I especially have a hard time writing in front of anyone… like Mr. Pink. I *should* be able to pull out the laptop and write away while he’s watching sports (doesn’t matter which one, so long as there’s grown men fighting over a ball or a puck.) Yet, I can’t. It could have something to do with the fact that I know at any given moment a giant head can descend, blocking my view of the screen and getting a little motorboat action. (You did read the post where I said I’m 12, right? ) But really, I just have trouble talking about what I’m doing. It’s like writing is something I have to do in secret, then, when I’m done, sneak out and go “Hey! Look what I did.” Yes, I’m wierd. Deal with it.

2. I have way too much shit I should be doing instead of this La-No. Wayyy too much.

3. I don’t care. I want to finish this book.

So, I’m gonna try and give updates, but it doesn’t look likely. I will however keep the word-count meter current, so feel free to keep an eye on that.

And just pretend I’m not writing. I’ll surprise you at the end.

Heck, at least it’s keeping me interested in what I’m reading… There’s not a whole lot of other excitement in directions on how to install a server. Really.

 And yes, I need a La-No update. Will be posting one later today. With a word counter so y’all can point and laugh.

Ohm.

I allow myself to write crap*.

Ohm.

I allow myself to write crap*.

Ohm

* Crap that is poorly spelled with bad grammar. I can fix it later. (snicker. yeah, right.)

Now, Losin’ It has evolved considerably since I first saved it to the elusive jump drive… for one, I’m gonna switch it from third to first person. For two, my hero has gone through some serious character changes. And for three.. I’m determined to actually finish it this time.

So, I think a chick-lit, which is what Losin’ It is about to become, is at least 80K. Don’t know that I’d be able to write 80K in one month, so my target is a rough first draft of about 50K, which works out to 6 pages a day, every day for the next month.

Can I do it? Well, we’ll see. I’m gonna publically humiliate myself here and post my daily totals. Feel free to bitch me out if I’m don’t or I’m not succeeding. Maybe public flogging is exactly what I need. *grin*

Wanna join me? Post your daily totals in here too… If there’s enough of us, maybe I’ll start a yahoogroup or something.

Ok. *deep breath* here goes.

I live in a townhouse development, and, I’ll be honest, not one of your more upscale ones. For some reason  I have never figured out, our condo corporation has chosen to hire a property management company. Which is fine. In fact, I think that’s a great idea. Only, the company that we are currently with… Sucks. A lot. I’ve called with an emergency, and was told I had to wait until business hours (er, 11 a.m. when our contact rolled into work) to get a response. That did a lot of the leak in my roof in the middle of a rainstorm, let me tell you. I’ve been yelled at by our contact, and by the receptionist when she screwed up and I tried to explain what I needed. And I’ve had to mediate between the company and a utility company, because our contact didn’t seem to want to do his job.

But the latest incident in my ongoing saga has to be my favourite. We have a central area for garbage and recycling. Which is handy, because I don’t have to wait for a specific day to take out my trash. But, let’s face it… it’s our garbage. It looks…like garbage. And, in the summer of spring cleaning and garage sales, people have a lot of old furniture and other assorted crap that they throw out. And they’re throwing it on the lawn of our garbage area.

Someone got the great idea to hide this garbage area with a fence. Which, sure, it hides the garbage, and makes our development look less… trashy. (Hmm. here’s a thought. maybe the garbage area shouldn’t be at the entrance to our development. Just saying.)

But, this fence keeps the garbagemen from actually GETTING to the trash. So, the same broken appliances and furniture have been sitting there for a month waiting to be picked up. And, hell, if I were a garbagegirl, I wouldn’t want to climb a fence (albeit a three-foot tall one) just to do my job. It’s hard enough as it is, without adding fence climbing to the mix.

I stand on my balcony and laugh every Thursday when the garbage collection comes and goes, and yet, our garbage remains.

Someone tell me again why we pay this company to work for us?

Michelle Rowen’s Angel with Attitude was definitely the second kind of book. I’d show you a pretty picture of the cover, but I can’t figure out how to post pictures in here, so go to Michelle’s website and look at it there…

Michelle sent me a sneak preview of the book, and within hours, I had it read from cover to cover….er, well, pretend there were covers, since it was an electronic version. *grin* And then I got the inevitable disappointment that I couldn’t stay and live with Valerie and Nathaniel a while longer… and Lloyd. I loved Lloyd.

I don’t want to give too much away, but think fallen angels, tempter demons, talking rats and vengeful witches… and Niagara Falls… the Canadian side.   What I liked most is Michelle does something that I’m finding very few paranormal writers can do well… write funny at the same time. Because there’s always lots of funny in blood-sucking vampires and descents into Hell. No, really.   (Tho, is it odd that the ones who are good at that all seem to be from Southern Ontario? Must be something in our water.)

And, I’m happy to say that all of the Toyota Echos made it safely home this time.  I’m glad. Cuz my Toyota Echo was a little worried.

Really, tho, if you’re looking for this summer’s hot read, go pick up Angel with Attitude. I mean it. Go now. 

 Yesterday was full of revelations. I was more than a little bothered by the negative response to the opening scene of my current WIP… Normally, my response to this kind of feedback is to give up. Pathetic of me, I know, but there you go. I leave it for a while until the call becomes too overwhelming, go back, try again, then find another excuse to quit. It's a giant vicious circle.

But I got to thinking…I'm a self-admitted anal perfectionist control freak. It makes me a darn good editor, but doesn't do too much for my letting myself go and just writing a rough draft. And it's these high expectations, this perfectionist behaviour that demands a publishable quality from my writing at first draft. And it is ridiculous for me to expect that…from anyone… including myself. So what if people had problems with my first draft? Does that mean I can't fix it? Does it mean I can't make it better? No… so what the hell? 

Then I started looking at what I'm writing. The best feedback I've received was for my chick-lit stuff. (Although, I'm still trying to figure out how a poser-wannabe vampire somehow made that a paranormal, but whatever. ) So why do I keep pushing myself into writing something that I'm not as strong in? Why not let myself write the way my voice wants to write, in the story my head wants to write? 

Part of that is the market, but part of it is my own self-doubts, my own weasels who tell me I'll never be able to write a world that will completely transport my readers the way my favourites do. But how will I know unless I try?

  So I'm off to find weasel traps. Maybe if I can catch the little suckers and get them the heck outta here, I'll be on a better track.

 Then, I made a big mistake. I put up the opening scene of the short story I’m working on up for critiquing… and I’m discouraged by the response. This is my dilemma… there are times when I need to know if I’m going in the right direction, whether it sounds right, whether this former girl guide, goody two shoes can really write steam… and critiques send me in the wrong direction, because that’s not the way it’s “done.” Just because the fictitious rules say you have to explain, doesn’t mean that it’s wrong because I wait until a more appropriate moment… a moment when my hero isn’t ruled by his dick, but by his head. I believe there should be reality in my fiction, and I know no man who will turn down sex with the woman he loves merely because he shouldn’t. Damn the consequences, storm the torpedoes and all that.

So, I’m disheartened. Is it no good? Or should I just plow ahead and finish it the way I’d planned?

The problem is… if I wait for CPs and betas until I’m done, then I’m not in a mood to go back and rewrite the whole thing… I’m done. This is the way I want it. I’d want to know to switch tracks while I’m at the fork, not after I’ve taken the road less travelled. But if the decision to take the fork is the wrong one, and sends me to the pits of despair, then am I really better off?

 I think not.

 And, while I’m thinking of it, how is it pointing you here? I tend not to advertise a whole heck of a lot my pink identity over here. Just as I haven’t decided if I want to identify Lara over at a certain pink site. (And I’m not going to right now, mostly because of the aforementioned stats whoring… and certain visitors I’d rather not have making the jump) But still, what do you want a Pink Lara to give you?

Now, a couple of things here.

1. It seems to me that I have to go with "there's no such thing as bad publicity." If I'm trying to market a book I've written, personally, I'd be happy to see it on as many people's blogs as possible. Unless, of course, they all said, "Lara's book is the worst piece of shizznit I've ever read." Cuz I think that may fall under the bad publicity rule… *grin* (And I'd hope that I had a publisher that was smart enough not to publish the worst piece of shizznit ever, too. )

2. I have a lot of authors mentioned in here… Books I've read, books I've worked on, books I'm going to be pimping (like a gushing viral blog about the totally awesome Angel with Attitude that I've yet to write.). It's never occurred to me to ask an author's permission to mention her name in my personal diary. (And, I would imagine many of my favourites would have better things to do than worry about me putting their name in a list on a blog that gets 40 visitors a day. *grin*) And I can't imagine that the blogs that review whatever the author is reading have done that either. But, please, correct me if I'm wrong.

3. I've had other bloggers mention my blog and point people here, and none of them have asked my permission. And frankly the only thing I have to say about that is… woohoo! people read me!

So let me ask this of the blogosphere… do you ask permission to mention a name? Do you care?

And, is your name on here and you wish it weren't? Cuz seriously, a simple, hey! Lara! Would ya mind takin' it off? would totally suffice. Although, come to think about it… whatever happened to freedom of speech? And what exactly would ya sue me for? She… she.. she said my name! I want a million dollars in damages! (um, yeah, good luck with that…. there's $82 in my account. )

 I also realized that it's about a month-and-a-half until the August 1st deadline for the Write-Ons and the deadline I set myself to finish my entry for Ellora's Cavemen contest. So I'm thinking that July is going to be La-No-Wri-Mo. Yes, that's Lara's-Novel-Writing-Month. I know that my 10K book for EC isn't going to win me a Write-On T-Shirt, but at this point, I just want to finish something.

So, who wants to join me?  It'd be nice not to have to go this alone. And I'm hoping that if enough people tell me how well they're doing, I'll feel guilty enough to actually do it this time, not just talk about it.

And, today, I turned down a freelance gig. And I'm really, really glad I did. I've been taking on a lot of extra stuff, really, to fill my time to pretend I don't notice that Mr. Pink has been spending more and more time away from me. Worse, I can't fight his mistress. Another woman I could handle (er, by dumping his ass..). But when he spends a good 20 hours a day asleep because of morphine patches and other assorted painkillers, there's nothing I can do but worry. (and be annoyed that those four awake hours are usually in the middle of the night when I'm sleeping) But I haven't really been giving myself time for me… time to write… time to recharge and veg… hell, time to clean my darn house. And I need to do that… all of it. I just kinda wish I weren't going it alone all the time.

So now tomorrow, I'm going to get woken up very, very early, when tech support, which is in a much earlier time zone than I am, gets my freak out ticket and calls me when they get in. (I usually roll into work around 10 a.m. I love working at home. ). Then I have to re-do those 60 pages. Argh.
 So in this case… don't forget to Save. And then do it again. Trust me. You'll be glad you did.

So I'm sitting here going, shit, shit, shit and Mr. Pink looks over to find out what's wrong. We get into this big discussion of whether the hero would have something on him. And Mr. Pink's giving me all these excuses and I'm countering every single one. Finally, I get him to admit that my hero would be a total nerd if he did have something, so my characters are gonna have to suck it up and deal with the consequences.

Fortunately, after the fact, my heroine revealed that she's on the Pill, which means we're all good in the baby department, but I've read a bunch of discussions that "bareback" tends to pull a reader out of the story because of all the other potential issues…

What do you think? If you're reading erotic romance, do the h/h abolutely, positively need raincoats, or if it fits the story, is it ok to leave it out? 

 Today's mail brought me an invite to the "Sweet or Spicy" conference being held by the Ottawa Romance Writers in September. I've always wanted to do a conference. But between the exchange rate, and plane fare, and conference dues and all that stuff, it's just never been financially feasible. (Odd, the bank wanting their mortgage payment on time and in full every month. heh.)

But Ottawa is a mere hop, skip and a jump along the 401, and, fees being in CDN$, means I don't have to worry about the exchange rate. So I'ma thinking I'm gonna go.

Anyone wanna come with me?  

 I always do that. I think that now that I've learned to walk, I can run a marathon. Immediately. Without training. Without practicing. Without any time and effort put in. I've always been like that. It's one of my worst faults. I'm a giant perfectionist, and if I can't get perfection right out of the gate, I get frustrated and give up. Hmm. I wonder why Lara doesn't write as much as she wants to.

But it's driving me crazy that I can't do this. I know ex-ac-tly what I want. I think it'll look darn cool. And, sure, I could pay any of the talented designers out there to do it for me, the thing is, I'd rather they taught me how to do it. I want to be able to do it.

And damn it, I'm stubborn enough that I'm gonna keep at it until I get it. But I'm probly gonna go insane trying to get there.

 I'm trying to move this whole blog over to my website, where I'll have more creative control over the look. I just have to wait for my host to give me the permissions I need to do that. 

Besides, it's fun to look at something new and different every once in a while. *grin* 

The thing about Mr. Pink is everything comes down to a sports analogy. I mean EVERYTHING. What restaurant we want to eat at, how we're gonna raise our kids, how someone at work hurt my feelings… everything. And since I know nothing about sports, I tend to just nod and smile. But he said something the other day that really hit me…

 The only play that counts is the one you're playing right now.

What he means, is that you can't worry about the last play that you messed up, or the one before that, or even the one before that, because if you're worrying about the past, you're not focusing on the present, and you're doomed to keep messing up. And as he was saying this, it was like a giant light bulb went off over my head… actually, not like, I'm pretty sure one did go off, cuz Mr. Pink kept asking what was wrong because of the look on my face :)

How much of my past am I holding on to when I write? 

Ten years ago, an evil woman wrote "Your writing is so juvenile, you couldn't even write for Harlequin" on an assignment I handed in. Now, you have to understand, that this instructor (scarily, she ran the book and magazine publishing graduate studies program) HATED Harlequin. She actually brought in Marsha Zinberg from HQ to speak to our class, and then a week later called the books they publish "junky little books" (I admit, I sat through Marsha's entire presentation waiting for the evil instructor to say something derogatory… fortunately, she didn't). But my point is, saying I couldn't even write for Harlequin was, to her, the ultimate insult. And I've never let that go. Every time I sit down to write, her voice is in my head telling me this over and over again.

And I remember all the bad… the bad marks on assignments. The boss who bitched that something I wrote was crap, even though I wrote it like the sample I was handed and told to make it look exactly like that. The idiot co-worker who was so full of himself that he rewrote my work while I was on vacation (and added in spelling and grammar mistakes)… and the boss who ended up taking me to task for my attitude for getting upset about it. Even a friend's second book that is so awesome, I know I could never write as well nags me.

And this haunts me while I write.

What I don't let in… and probably should… is the good stuff.

1. In my grade 11 creative writing class, my short story was one of two that was picked to be published in the book featuring the best of our assignments.
2. I was one of only ten people in my year who graduated with a BFA, specializing in Playwriting. (And the ONLY ONE who turned it into a double stream with Production, btw.)
3. For the past seven years, "writer" has been part of every day job I've held.
4. I was a finalist in the first writing contest I entered… and the judge (a managing editor) asked to see my stuff… and more of what I write.
5. I've written back cover copy … for 2 Harlequin books. (take that, evil instructor )

 And you know what? These successes far outweigh the bad.

So the next time I sit down to write, the only thing I'm going to let myself focus on is what I can do with this scene, in this book. And nothing else. Because what I'm working on RIGHT NOW… is the only play that counts.

The thing is, my "office" is in disarray. I got it in my head a few months ago to switch the rooms that my office is in. Then, I bought all new furniture. Then, I ripped up the carpet in that room and bought new paint. And it's gonna look really cool. That is, once I get the damn sofa bed outta there. In a moment of foolishness when I first moved in to this place I traded my futon for a sofa bed. Only it doesn't match my decor, and it's too big for my house. And right now, it's the only thing in the room that's going to be my office. And there's not really enough room to put anything else in there. And it won't fit anywhere else. I have it posted on both kijiji and craiglist, and so far, not even a nibble.

So for the time being, until I get that nibble, or just decide to chuck the stupid thing over the balcony, I can't set up my office. And I pretty much work in the living room, but tv is too distracting to write in front of. (It's also too distracting to edit in front of, but I've been pretty good at turning it off. )
But I need to shake things up, and get out of the house. I've read on so many people's blogs that they write in coffeeshops and bookstores and places like that… do you really? Do you just plunk yourself down at a table and sit there for hours on end? Do you shlep all your laptop and crap in a bag with you? Are people okay with that? Like, the owners and workers and stuff? And other people? I mean, I've been accosted on the TTC because I rested the four bags I was carrying on the seat beside me when there were empty seats all over the bus… I'd hate to think what would happen if I sat at a table for four or five hours.

 What do you think? Do you do it? Where do you write? What works for you? And pssst… wanna buy a sofa bed?

 Then, my stupid Canadian Tivo decides not to tape Desperate Housewives on Sunday night. That's ok. ABC has been promoting all over the place that you can catch up on missed episodes on their website. Woohoo! I'm all over that, until I get this message:
ONLY VIEWERS WITHIN THE UNITED STATES CAN VIEW THESE FULL-LENGTH EPISODES.

Aaaagggh. so not fair.

AND THEN, good ol' POTUS decides that what he has to say is more important than Sweeps month on tv, bumping all tv shows a good 20 minutes later than they're supposed to be. Only, I record my shows so I can watch them without commercials later. So, I have the first ten minutes of How I Met Your Mother and The New Adventures of Old Christine.

Fortunately, I found repeats of the CBS shows later this week, but I'm sorta screwed on Desperate Housewives. Anyone record it and want to send me a copy? Know where I can find the episode online, and that I can see it without having to travel across the border?

Y'know, a girl could really turn her back on tv for shizznit like this.

So, why is it, in the most show-ing medium, television, it's okay to tell?

I watch 7th Heaven. I have no idea why, because, really, I think it's the most soul-sucking, stupidly ridiculous show on tv. Last night was the series finale. After ten long years, we said good-bye to the Camdens in what had to be one of the worst episodes ever.

This entire season has been dedicated to whether Simon and Rose are going to get married, even though they're way young, and Rose is an psycho hag-beast. I mean, every. single. episode. has been, will they? won't they? why won't Simon see that Rose is a psycho hag-beast? Hell, at this point, I would have married Simon just to get them to shut the hell up about it.

So the big finale episode, the one where past siblings came back (Barry Watson, who overcame Hodgkins disease and escaped to his own show on ABC; and Jessica Biel, who posed in her undies on a magazine cover and got a  movie career), was devoted to random fantasies about how the wedding will be stopped, keeping Simon and Psycho Hag-Beast from getting married. Oh, and a rather cruel portrayal of JB's character. Man they're some pissed that she actually made something of herself, eh?

And then, we go to commercial thinking that in the last ten minutes we'll actually get to see the wedding and if and how it's stopped, and instead… we come back and the wedding's over.

And the characters tell us what happened before the wedding.

And then there's this odd reveal that three of the seven siblings are pregnant with twins and we're left with a cliffhanger.  

Huh-what?

Couldn't they have shown us how it ended, after having kept us in suspense for nine fricken months? And instead of a boring old well, we talked before we went into the church, and decided not to do this, how about a loud "I object!" at just the right time? That would have been interesting enough to keep viewers' interest.  

And this isn't the first time this show has done this. Every time there's a big event in a Camden's life, it happens off-screen and then the characters talk about it ad nauseum. 

 I don't know about you, but I'd so much rather see it happen, right there on the screen, where you CAN show it to me, then listen to people blab about it later.

Oh and a cliff hanger? For a show that will never have another episode? And has already been decided won't be getting a spin-off? Yeah, bad form. 

Grrr.

When I interned at a very big publisher, a particular writer who had been similarly inspired by another big name writer was revealed. And although no one really said it, looking back, I think the biggest thing felt by the editors I worked with who spoke about it was betrayal. Now, this particular writer had a big name behind her. She'd proven herself again and again for almost twenty years and was a VERY BIG DEAL at this particular publisher and in the writing community in general, and then all of a sudden there were these accusations and scandal. A lot of people were very, very surprised. And the questions were asked, why didn't anyone catch it? How did no one notice that this had happened?

The thing is, nine years later, this writer is still writing and selling books. Not with the very big publisher, but with another one. And she's still selling. Why? Because outside of our very small community of writers, there are very few people who know…or care…what happened.

In my day job, I'm a technical editor for a big company. Out of curiousity, I mentioned the more recent situation to the rest of my team of editors. Not a single one had heard of the story or any of the controversy.

And I think this shows two things. One… for this Harvard girl, this will blow over. Some people will remember, and it could likely affect her future in publishing, but I doubt it. In four years, she'll have a degree from Harvard and will be able to take that and work just about anywhere.

And two, as a society, we let it go. We think it's okay, so it is. Meg Cabot, one of the alleged inspiring authors, wrote a great post about this. To the Carols and the Harvard girls and the others who think it's okay, it's not. And I, too, feel sad that you won't ever get it.

Apparently not.

The problem is, there's so much I need to be taking care of, that my brain doesn't want to shut down long enough to let me sleep. Mr. Pink woke me several nights in a row coming to bed long after I was asleep last week, and I thought that when he left for a couple of days, I'd be able to get a good night's sleep alone in my nice big bed. Only, I haven't. I'm lucky if I get four hours at a time… And I've tried everything. Meditation yoga, tv, no tv, reading, no reading, sex, to-do lists, lying quietly, staying up until I crash and nothing's working.

I have a constant lack of sleep headache and I'm just not productive or accomplishing any of the things I need to be doing. It's a horrible vicious circle that I need to get out of.

I don't want to go the way of meds, I don't do well with pills, never have, but I need to get some sleep. Any suggestions?

So, in the spirit of sharing cool, new things, I thought I'd let y'all in on some cool things I've found.

Remember the Milk – I'm a huge list maker. I have lists on scraps of paper all over my house. Then I started using the task list in my work outlook, but since I don't like to access the work server when I'm doing personal stuff, I can't access that list unless I'm "at work." Then I stumbled across this site. You can make a list, set deadlines, arrange your lists by category and it'll even send you a weekly reminder of your deadlines. (And I only freaked out a little at the reminder that came last night telling me I have seven days to do my taxes, finish two assignments for my HTML class, start and finish the lararose.com website, which is my final project, and do third and subsequent edits on three books. yikes.)

Skinful Scentsations – When I was in Saint John, NB, there was a small booth of all natural beauty products. I love makeup and stuff like that, so of course, I had to check them out. I bought the Whipped Shea Butter (try the peppermint tea tree oil one, it leaves your toes all tingly and soft) and the lip balm, which comes in all sorts of yummy flavours and smells, and leaves your lips soft, not greasy, and lasts for hours. You can order from their booth, or off their website.

Method – I bought their all-purpose cleaner at Target when I was in Buffalo last month, but apparently you can buy their stuff in Shopper's Drug Mart here in Canada too. (just not at the ones out here in the 'burbs ) I found that the heavy duty cleansers triggered my asthma and set off my smoke detector, making me more than a little afraid of what kinda wierd shit they have in there, but the Method products are all natural and leave a very yummy smell that lasts for hours (and they still clean your stuff).

Baci Ice Cream – Best. Ice Cream. Ever. 'nuff said

Any cool things you've come across that you want to share?

I read the book last night… and there were just so many things that I found odd about it. First, there were two heroines and two heroes… kind of like the author didn't have enough story for the main h/h and had to fill in another couple to make her word count. Here's a hint… if your subplot characters have more "page time" than your main plot characters, they're not a subplot anymore. Then, there was the fact that for most of the book, the hero of the main plot was obsessed with settling down with the heroine of the subplot.

 And that's the other odd thing.. main hero? a little psycho. First, he takes the subplot heroine house hunting for the home they're going to settle down in on the third date. The third date? Um. rushing things a bit much? Man, I wasn't sure I wanted Mr. Pink to see me naked on the third date (he didn't ), let alone know that he was going to be the guy I'd spend the rest of my life with. (And considering we've passed the four and a half year mark, and he STILL hasn't asked, I guess I'm still not sure *grin*) Then, when main heroine comes back into his life, the big test for her is how she reacts to the house he picked out that subplot heroine loved. Uhhh-huh.

 And, I know Mrs. Giggles has already talked about this, and I was never sure I really bought her whole "Blaze authors think sex is eeeevvill", until I read this book. Main heroine wrote a book that's supposed to empower women. Cool! What a great idea. Changing one's self for a man, just to impress said man, is always a bad idea. Only all the book did was empower her to dress all slutty and ask for sex when she wanted it. And when she should have worn something slightly conservative for a business dinner, she was all everything's going wrong! my man wants to change me and I'm letting him. Have I learned nothing? waaaaah. Seriously, if the question is "what have I done for me lately?" It's not forcing myself into six-inch heels and super tight clothes just because men think it's sexy. (and that completely goes against the whole doing for me, don't it? duh.)

And I know I've blogged about Blazes' light-grey moments (as opposed to the black moment) before, but this book? Forget light-grey…All I could think was, man, you guys are such idiots you deserve each other.

*sigh* 

 Apparently chick-lit, blaze style! is taking the worst of both genres and making a book out of it.

This morning, I was reading an article on a new show starting this week on tv that I'd planned on checking out. The premise, according to the author, has been done repeatedly on tv, and, according to an article I read recently with editors from EC, in books as well. Problem is, this premise? Was the main conflict of the book I put down.

 So I thought, well, what if… I reversed it? It gives me a new conflict, and it fits better with the character of my hero (think Logan Echolls from Veronica Mars). Then there's all sorts of other conflict that now arises from it.

I might even make my gay best friend a girl. A lesbian girl. Haven't seen that done as much. Heh.

What's that? August 1st is rapidly approaching and I better make a decision and get my ass in gear?

 Yeah. no kidding.

No worries. I'm kinda sick of that story, so I put it to the back of my writing list and have been focused on other stuff. Besides, it needed enough work that Ellora's Cave probably wouldn't even consider it, so I figured they'd reject it, I'll write something else and that's the way it goes. 

Only… I just got an email from EC. They are interested. Enough that it's passed the first round and is sitting with the acquisitions editor. (or at least, I think it is… they got my name wrong, but the story title right )
The thing is… it still needs work. So. Do I do the work and send the new version to them? Pull it from consideration? Hope that they pair me with a darn good editor and that she'll help me fix it up before publication?

I don't want to hope they reject it, cuz, well… I want to get published, but I just don't want my first book to be something that needs work. Ya know what I mean?

Argh.

Of course, I probably just jinxed the whole thing by bringing it up now. *grin* 

At last, a book (or two) that's worth reading! Yes, I finally broke my spell and read a book that grabbed me by the collar, yanked me into it's world and kept me there for 500 pages. Boy did I need that!

Nienke left a comment on my last post that asked if I'm critical of books that I read for pleasure. Am I ever. *grin* Just ask Michelle about that thing I promised I wouldn't bring up anymore. (Actually, don't. I did promise after all ) But here's the thing. First and foremost, I'm an editor. Not only have I trained my brain to see spelling and grammar mistakes and plotting, character and other issues when I read, I'm a huge bookworm and speedreader. I've read probably about a billion books. (ok, teeny exaggeration) And I spend all day, every day reading books specifically looking to be critical. (Think romance writers are bad? Try reading user manuals for telecommunications equipment. Yikes!)

So even when I sit down to read just to lose myself in a good story, that little editor me is sitting there screaming "misplaced modifier!" or "misused apostrophe!" I can't help it. I wish I could. I can't even shut her up when I'm writing. Worse, when I am writing, that little editor me turns into Editing Instructor who said very mean things to me in school. That's when I get "You're not even good enough to write those junky little books" (which *sigh* is a direct quote. Sorta funny when you think about what I've been doing with my life since graduation.)

So, it takes a really good writer to sweep me away and make me ignore that little editor me. I have to confess that in the past two weeks I started five books. Three romance novels, Memoirs of a Geisha, and a collection of short stories. Out of them all, I only finished one of the novels (and not Geisha). Which isn't to say that I won't finish them all, but only the one gave me what I was looking for. A complete and total world sweeping. The book? Hot Target by Suzanne Brockmann. I admit to being a total fangirl when it comes to her SEALs books.

I spoke to her in real life once, when there was that big three-day blackout across the Eastern coast of the US and most of Ontario and Quebec, she was supposed to have come to speak at my local RWA chapter, of which I was president at the time. She called to see if she should still come, and all I could think during the entire conversation was "Squeeeeee!!! I love your books!!!" I know. We've addressed the fact that I'm a geek. *grin*

 My other problem lately, is that I've taken on waaayyyy too much and when I get overwhelmed, I tend to shut down and do nothing. Which, of course, just made my to-do list even worse. So I'm baby-stepping my way through the list… all of which must be done before I can allow myself to start writing (tho it hasn't stopped me from ruminating *grin*). That's any and all day-job work (90 pages left of the three manuals I'm working on), the seven (!!!) books in my editing queue for night-job #1 and any writing for night-job #2. Oh, and the three assignments due for the HTML class I'm taking that's finally back now that the strike is over. yeesh.

But I’ve been thinking a lot about all the feedback I’ve gotten in the past little while from a lot of people all saying the same sorta thing about my writing, which is what I’ve suspected all along… that my stories are trying to be too many things. And I’ve been thinking about Dangerous Love, which I started like a hundred years ago… First, it needs a new name. Second, the more I worked on it with the the critique group I used to be part of, the more it changed from what I wanted it to be. Third, I think it work pretty well as a straight erotic romance and I can get rid of all the other stuff that I didn’t really want in there in the first place. I have about sixty pages done, but I’m pretty sure only maybe ten or fifteen are salvageable…

So my (our) goal is to finish the book by August 1st. I like having a goal. I like having people to be accountable to. I might actually do it this time. (hope, hope)

I liked the idea, a lot. So I created my Page of Gratuitous Praise. Need to be uplifted? Check it out!

Or I could just get off my ass and finally get myself my own domain and website and none of this would be a problem.

I know. Like I’m not busy enough as it is, and now I’m thinking of adding more work. The thing is, this job, sounds really, really exciting and the potential for it becoming something really, really awesome is totally there. And, as funny as it sounds, what with my whine earlier today about not writing because I’m lazy and afraid and all that, it’s a copywriting job. And I want to take it, because with all the editing I’m doing, I miss writing.

I know. Idiot.

I hate being sick. I have a million things to do (like the edits on the six books waiting for my attention or even working on my own writing, or you know, cleaning my house) but no, I’m sitting here, my brain in a fog, watching bad Saturday morning tv. *sigh* And not even Patrick Swayze telling Lennie Briscoe that “Nobody puts Baby in a corner” is keeping my interest for longer than about a minute.
I may try to work on the current book I’m editing (which, fortunately is really good and doesn’t need a lot of work), and hope that my snot-addled head doesn’t completely mess it up.

I’ve had a few people take a look at my work, and they all said the one thing I was afraid of. My stories are trying to be too many things, and they aren’t really recognizable as what they’re supposed to be. I think this comes from my editor brain, always making sure I’m thinking about all the things that I’m supposed to do, that I’m losing the creative part of it. It doesn’t help that my internal editor is a very unpleasant woman, who doesn’t have a whole lot of faith in me.

I was inspired by Michelle Rowen’s recent post about Michelle v.2, whose sole purpose is to kick her ass. I need something similar. I want to write. I think about writing. But when it comes right down to it, I just… don’t. Call it fear. Call it damn lazy. Call it whatever. And that doesn’t make sense. If I want it so badly, which I do, I should do it.

So in the spirit of new, I have a new focus. A new Lara if you will. Just write what I think the story is, and don’t get caught up in the other stuff. If it’s meant to be there, it’ll come. Just make sure I’m writing. (And I’d really like to get a new internal editor. Someone who looks like Brendan Fraser would be nice. )

I’ve angsted a fair bit over my pseudonym, trying to find just the right one that suited my personality, and was close enough to my own name that I’d still feel like it was really me.

So welcome.

Let me introduce myself. My name is Lara Rose and I write romance.